Gestalt Prayer: I Am I, You Are You

The Gestalt Prayer is a short text included by Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy, in a 1969 book. Its central lines are:

I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I.

What It Means

This text is not a declaration of selfishness, but a declaration of healthy psychological boundaries. When satisfying other people’s expectations becomes the reason for one’s existence, as in smile mask syndrome or the good-child pattern, one’s own feelings and needs are pushed aside. Perls saw each person’s responsibility for their own life as the premise for real encounter.

The final line is often omitted, but it matters: “If by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.” It means that boundaries are not disconnection, but the condition for genuine meeting.

Gestalt Therapy

Gestalt therapy, developed by Perls together with his wife Laura Perls, emphasizes awareness in the “here and now.” It sees noticing the sensations, emotions, and needs of the present moment, rather than analyzing the past, as the starting point of change.

Related: Nonviolent Communication · Self-Esteem Test